my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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