I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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