just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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