Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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