I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
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Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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