she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize