I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
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Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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