in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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