I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
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make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
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I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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