I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
so much tequila, so little girl.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize