A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize