i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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