sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk is not a location!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize