Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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