Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
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I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
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Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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