were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize