how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize