god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize