my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize