life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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