Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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