Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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