C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
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I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
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i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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