Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize