Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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