things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize