I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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