i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize