I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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