I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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