gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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