We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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