he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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