Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize