His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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