One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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