I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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