I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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