Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I had to cum in my sink.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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