Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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