the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
honey bunches of taint.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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