He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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