i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
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alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
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We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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