Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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