I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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