I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize