Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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