Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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