Just fell off a train. Bad.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
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I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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