I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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